November 22, 2008
Dear Susan,
Congratulations! On behalf of the faculty and staff at the University of California, Clarinets, I am thrilled to offer you admission to the most selective college for the greatest clarinetist and other people who come close to your awesometasticness.
UC Clarinets has much to offer you, and we look forward to your becoming a part of our crucial enlightening community. We at UC Clarinets deem that our impressive academic reputation, musicianship, and marching band will satisfy your educational dreams. Although our marching band may not be as good as Homestead High School's marching band, it sure kicks the other colleges' rear end. In fact, our incoming show is called "Villains and Heroes and Clarinets." You will meet others, like yourself, who are enthusiastic and fabuful at the clarinet, saxophone, and life. Our campus has spontaneous sculptures reflections of Spiderman, metal works of Chuck Norris, and flight paths of Superman.
Again, congratulations on your admission to one of the finest institutions of higher education in clarinet. We hope you will join us soon. Welcome to the UC Clarinets community!
Sincerely,
Supaman Awesometastic Clari-saxo
Director of Admissions and Protector of Clarinets
This has reminded me of two things. First, it reminded me how "awesometastic" the clarinet section was this year. Then, I realized that the real UC admissions decisions are released next month.
I'm only slightly terrified :/
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